The Fanon Chronicles
by Serious Pumpkin
Summary: After a bad break-up between Ron and Hermione what could be the events that follow? A tale of romance, butterbeers, love potions, new and old friendships, drama, humour and most importantly... fanon. Rated T for paranoia.
1. Chapter 1

**Note: **The events in this story are set after the war. This story is following fanon - not canon - so I don't want anyone in the reviews going _"But they're supposed to end up together not them" _and _"That doesn't happen" _because I know. I am breaking up canon couples and putting them in my ships. Deal with it. The story will be in third person but generally there will be two people telling the general story. This chapter will be short since it's the first one. I hope you like it!

**I don't own Harry Potter. If I did I wouldn't be writing this.**

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><p><strong>Chapter One...<strong>

Hermione was flustered and annoyed. Her new job at the ministry wasn't leaving her much time to herself and she was sure that Ron and the waitress at the Three Broomsticks were a little more close than she liked. Of course when confronting him of this it immediately made her a nag.

"Look, I really don't care. You can go out with that _bloody _waitress for all I care," she snapped.

Surprise flickered over Ron's face. "What does that mean?"

"What do you _think _it means? I'm breaking up with you, Ronald," she rolled her eyes and spun on her heel, heading towards her room.

"Are you kidding me? Over something this stupid?" He asked, following her.

"Oh, now I'm stupid?" Hermione accused, turning to face him with malice in her eyes.

Ron stopped walking and took a step back, raising his hands diplomatically. "Look, I'm _sorry_ but you're acting ridiculous."

"Of course I am," she muttered and continued walking to her room. "I'm breaking up with you. I'm obviously too much of a nag for you so go knock up that waitress. See if I care!" She slammed the door in his face and began packing.

"I don't want to 'knock up that waitress'," he shouted through the door, trying to open it but Hermione obviously had her wand with her.

Hermione remained silent, using her wand to pack everything into her beaded bag and a suitcase. She opened the door again and Ron stared at her luggage.

"You're _bloody _serious?" He rolled his eyes. "This is by far the most stupid thing you've ever done."

"No, I'm pretty sure it's the smartest," Hermione said and pushed past him, bringing her things with her.

"Come on, Hermione," Ron said, grabbing her wrist. "Let's just talk it out."

She ripped her wrist away. "How much times do I need to say it? We. Are. Not. Dating. Okay?"

"Fine," Ron crossed his arms. "See if I care, I prefer the waitress anyway."

Hermione managed to hold in her tears until after she left the house.

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><p>Elliot hurried into the ministry and ran a hand through his dark brown hair as he waited for the elevator. As he was waiting Hermione came up from behind him and hit the elevator button.<p>

"I've already done that," he said, surprising her slightly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't notice you there," she said, her mind obviously elsewhere.

Elliot frowned. He had liked Hermione for a while and she'd always been nice to him. But nothing was worse than your crush not noticing you standing right next to them. "It's fine... Something on your mind?"

The elevator came just then and they stepped in together. "I've just... had a lot of drama lately."

Hermione sighed and Elliot swore he could see tears pooling in her eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Unfortunately, just as he finished talking the doors opened. "Level two, department of magical law enforcement."

Hermione smiled at him. "Thanks for the offer but I'm fine." Then she walked out of the elevator with her head high.

Elliot slouched slightly and shuffled out of the elevator slowly as he followed her. _Friend-zoned, once again._


	2. Chapter 2

**Note: **So far eight people have read my story. It would probably sound really bad if I said right now that I expected less than that but... I have bad self-confidence. I find Elliot so adorable in a dorky way. I don't exactly know where I got him from but I'm glad I did. My only problem is I want an Elliot...

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><p><strong>Chapter Two...<strong>

If it wasn't for Parvati Lavender probably wouldn't have found out the new piece of news. It wasn't like it had been long since it had happened and it wasn't very _important _news. They were sitting at Lavender' dining room table when she brought it up.

"You know," she said, inspecting her nails. "Ron and Hermione broke up yesterday."

Lavender's head snapped up immediately, a smile growing on her face. "Really? How do you know?"

"I heard her talking to Ginny about it. Hermione had gotten a room at the Leaky Cauldron. I suppose Ginny and Harry were too busy to take in guests," Parvati said, shrugging. "Where was the article again? I've lost my page."

"It's on page six," Lavender said quickly, referring to the _Daily Prophet_. "Do you think Ron would be ready for another relationship this soon?"

Parvati raised her eyebrows, unable to raise one at a time like Lavender but still had the same result with two. She had matured since Hogwarts but she had a sinking suspicion that Lavender had not. "Remember your _last _relationship with him?"

Lavender waved a hand nonchalantly. "The past is in the past. How long do you think I should wait?"

"Longer than one day," Parvati said.

And so the plotting began.

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><p>Elliot was tired and bored. He was tired of working so close to Hermione and not having her notice him. He was bored of trying to make her notice him. It was the day after their meeting and he decided that maybe you couldn't always get the girl. Just before he gave up he found himself in an elevator with her again except this time they were <em>leaving <em>work. He smiled at her and she returned it faintly, still having the distracted look about her. Their boss had caught her zoning out during work and told her to focus more. He wondered what exactly went through her head.

"Hermione... do you want to grab a drink with me?" He asked, not only surprising Hermione but himself too.

"Oh. That's really nice of you but-" Elliot could basically hear the rejection in her voice and felt his face fall. Hermione seemed to notice that too and her cheeks flushed. "But I'd love to. When would you like to go?"

_Now_. "I'm not fussy," he lied, mentally kicking himself.

"Is tomorrow good?" She asked as the elevator stopped.

He nodded, words leaving him for a moment as he watched her smile her perfect smile and walk off. Her brown hair bounced behind her slightly and he could hardly keep the grin off his face. _Yes!_

Right now though was still important. He hurried out of the elevator before it closed, saving himself from having a near-embarrassment experience, and walked through the door causally, going in the direction of his London apartment with a smile on his face. His dim green eyes scanned the surrounding area with satisfaction. Now all that was left, figure out how to act on this sort of a date occasion without completely screwing it up. Recently he had been dating a pureblood girl that had come from America. Unfortunately he had ruined that relationship... according to her anyway. He couldn't see that he'd done anything wrong. But a few days after they had broken up Hermione smiled at him and he was hooked.

Frowning, he crossed the street, wondering if that sounded creepy or not. He decided it probably did and discarded the topic. A few blocks down he found his apartment building and walked through, waving to the man at the front desk. He probably could save a lot of time by using a more direct method of getting to and from work to his apartment but it wasn't too long of a walk and he wanted no muggles to find out. He had always been a little over cautious. He sat in a comfy armchair in his apartment and thought about his upcoming sort of a date._  
><em>


	3. Chapter 3

**Note: **There is now of total of 32 reads and 1 review. Thank you to _Maria_for reviewing! They might get back together but it's unlikely since - sorry Romione fans - I don't ship them.

**Sorry if this chapter caused offence to anyone who is gay. It was meant as my bad attempt as humour - not to be mean.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Three...<strong>

Elliot had spent a lot of time the next day in front of his wardrobe trying to find his smartest clothes. On closer inspection he discovered he had no smart clothes and had to wear the ordinary things he usually wore. But then again, that's what had scored him his sort of a date so maybe it'd be fine. Hopefully. But right now he had to _get _to work. With a jump he realized that the clock was pointing to late he ran out passing his elderly neighbour. Unfortunately.

"Go get him sonny," she exclaimed in her gravelly tone, causing Elliot to wince.

Not stopping, he called back. "I'm not gay, miss."

Somehow his neighbour had come to assume he was gay. He didn't know _how _but it might of had something do the with a time when he'd come back to his apartment after drinking too much fire whiskey. Who knows what sort of rubbish he might of said.

"Don't be homophobic!" came her reply as he ran down the stairs.

_Of course_, if he wasn't gay then he was homophobic. He ran out the apartment building, muttering under his breath.

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><p>Lavender had a plan.<p>

She knew, after some _innocent _research, that Ron had transferred from being an Auror to working at his older brother's joke shop. She could _innocently _go with Parvati there and act pleasantly surprised when she saw him. It was fool proof.

"Wait. What do I say when I see him?" Lavender suddenly asked, stopping down the road from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

Parvati rolled her eyes. "Come on, Lav. Act like yourself... Just don't call him Won Won."

Lavender smiled and Parvati smiled back at her. But first they had to get to the shop. Lavender tucked her hair behind her ear and continued walking. When she walked in the amount of strange objects amazed her. She hadn't been here in at least three years. After seeing George Parvati and her exchanged glances. The last time they'd seen George was at Fred funeral and they wondered how he was going.

"Hey, George," Parvati smiled sadly. "How are you going?"

A distant look appeared on George's face before he returned to normal. "Fine. Is there anything you want?"

"I've got to go to my relatives house to celebrate her birthday and I'm trying to find a way to get out of it. Got anything to help?" Parvati asked, using the lie they had come up with the day before.

George nodded and ushered them to a different part of the shop. "I've got the perfect thing. Skiving Snackboxes. Eat something from this before you go and pretend you're sick! Only four gallons, six sickles and three knuts."

Parvati grabbed a box and Lavender smiled charmingly. "We'd like to browse before we buy these."

"Okay," George said, leaving them alone.

Apart from them there was a boy and a girl looking at the different products and standing awfully close together, a father being dragged along by two enthusiastic children, a bunch of about five teenagers wandering around together and two girls giggling at the love potions. Finally her eyes set on Ron and she subtly pointed him out to Parvati.

"Two o'clock," she whispered, watching Ron in the corner of her eye as he talked causally with the teenagers about the products they were looking at.

Parvati turned slightly and giggled, looking pointedly in his direction.

"Don't look at him like that," Lavender hissed, heat crawling into her cheeks. "He'll see you!"

Parvati looked back to Lavender and smirked. "We have no hope."

"Nope," Lavender giggled with her.

Ron finally finished with the teenagers as they walked out the shop with plenty of pranks and jokes and looking around at the rest of the customers, looking vaguely surprised when seeing Lavender and Parvati. They made it look like they were examining the extendible ears instead of watching him.

Slowly he walked over. "Hey, what are you guys doing?"

Lavender tried to look surprised as she turned around to face Ron. "I didn't know you were working here. I thought you were an auror!"

"Yeah, well I was but now I'm not," he shrugged.

Parvati suddenly gasped and turned around, walking away. "I just remembered something! I'll be right back!"

This was part of their plan. Parvati was to disappear - actually just going to grab something to eat - and leave Lavender and Ron by themselves. Ron suddenly looked an inch more uncomfortable.

"So how are you and Hermione going?" She asked smiling, acting oblivious to their recent break up.

A sour look appeared on Ron's face. "We're not."

"What do you mean? I thought you two would end up married or something! You seemed so happy together," Lavender said, feigned sympathy leaking through her words.

"I guess she had different plans," Ron muttered.

"Do you want to talk about it? Maybe we could get a drink somewhere..?" Lavender suggested.

"Oh. Um, sorry but no."

_Wait, what?!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Note: **I'd like a new title for my book. I don't really like _The Fanon Chronicles _but I don't know what else I could call it. Any ideas? Also, for future reference, Hermione actually did transfer to the Department of Magical Law Enforment - it just say what she did there - and Ron did stop being an Auror to work at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Not all of this is fanon. _Also_, thanks to _Maria_ for reviewing again. The story isn't about Harry so I don't think he would appear but I could squeeze him in sometime. Just not in this chapter. _ALSO_, sorry for the late update. Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter Four...<strong>

Lavender was sulking. Her pink lips curved into a frown as she replayed the events in her mind. She was obviously alone in the opinion of getting back together with Ron. What had she done wrong? The plan had been flawless. She hadn't even asked him out! Just a friendly chat while they shared a drink. Not romantic at all. So why did he reject her? She sipped the hot cocoa that Parvati had prepared as she gossiped about topics that just couldn't hold Lavender's attention for long.

"I thought the plan would've worked!" Lavender whined and Parvati stopped talking, realizing Lavender's focus wasn't moving from that topic.

"He's just upset about the breakup still, he'll cave eventually," Parvati said sympathetically.

"You mean he's still in love with her?" Lavender snapped before sobering. "Sorry, I didn't mean to get mad at you."

"It's fine, we just need to get your mind off Ron for a while," said Parvati.

"Okay..." Lavender said slowly before looking at the ceiling. "What do you suggest?"

"I have the newest edition of _Witch Weekly_," Parvati said. "I'll go get it."

She scrambled up to fetch the magazine while Lavender thought about... what else? _Ron_.

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><p>Elliot slipped into the Three Broomsticks and looked around until he realized Hermione wasn't there. His face fell a fraction until she came in behind him.<p>

"Hello, Elliot," she smiled, entrancing him. "Should we get a table?"

"Um..." good one Elliot. "Yes. A table. Right this way."

He hastily walked over to the closet empty table and sat down, stubbing his toe on the table. He barely held in a noise of pain and instead made an undignified squeak and his face flushed.

Hermione looked at him, amused, as she sat down. "Are you okay?"

Elliot nodded stiffly, internally cursing. This wasn't going how he expected. Then again, his mind practically had them married at the end of the date so maybe that was a good thing.

"I'll go get us drinks!" He announced, jumping from his seat and dashing towards the bar. "Could I please have two butterbeers?"

The lady working there turned around, getting him the drinks as he took a few gallons from his pocket. He swiftly grabbed them and hurried back to their table before he could do something stupid like drop them.

"Here you go," he put one in front of Hermione and had a drink from his as he sat down.

"I never said what I wanted," Hermione pointed out.

Elliot widened his eyes. Oh no. She hadn't wanted this. What had he done?!

He was interrupted from his panicking by her voice. "Good job at guessing."

_Thank god_.

They fell into an awkward silence as Hermione stared down at her drink thoughtfully.

Elliot tapped a finger on his glass. "Where are you staying?"

"The Leaky Cauldron," Hermione said. "But if you show up there I'll curse you," she threatened but he could tell she was joking... hopefully.

"Don't worry, I won't unless invited," he promised.

She smiled. "How about you?"

"I live in an apartment near the ministry. I have the most awful neighbour," he laughed and to his joy she did too. He felt like pumping his fist in the air but that could be weird.

"What's she like?" She asked.

"She's a fat woman and her voice is really gravelly. She keeps trying to make me help with her shopping and cleaning her apartment and has the weirdest theory that I'm gay," he explained and Hermione laughed again.

"Sounds wonderful," she said.

"A treat," he agreed before silence came over them again.

Elliot took another drink as she sipped her butterbeer slowly, her gaze flickering everywhere except on him. Finally he asked the question he'd been waiting to ask.

"What happened between you and your ex?" He asked, seemingly innocent but with a quick glance up at him Hermione could tell he was dying of curiosity.

"Nothing. We tried to make it work but I guess we weren't good together," she murmured.

Elliot nodded, taking a drink from his butterbeer, while silently watching Hermione. "You haven't gotten over him, have you?"

Hermione's head snapped up immediately and looked over Elliot, trying to find any sort of suspicious emotion or reason why he was so involved into the topic. "I think I'm done here, I'll see you at work tomorrow."

And with that comment she stood from her seat and walked from the bar, not daring to look back. he looked at the butterbeer across from him and quickly downed his own drink before leaving himself. _Note to self, ex-boyfriend is a dangerous topic_.


	5. Chapter 5

**Note: **No reviews? B-but, don't you guys love me? Nah, it's cool because I'm updating again! And guess what? My birthday was ten days ago! I got lots of cool presents including a mouse called Pipito which is cool. Sorry for the late update xx

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><p><strong>Chapter Five...<strong>

Elliot had hoped avoiding Hermione would make things better but it seemed to have the opposite effect. He could feel her gaze on him and when she wasn't looking he would snatch glances at her. Whenever he had to talk to her it was short and quick before he'd immediately scamper off again. The logical part of his brain reminded him that he should be conversing with her normally, trying to put the failed sort of a date behind them but the other part of his brain thought of rejection and embarrassment. So avoiding Hermione it was. He quickly walked towards the elevator but a voice from behind him made him pause. Unfortunately.

"Wait!" Hermione called, running up to him. "I wanted to talk to you about yesterday. I didn't really get a chance during work."

_Because of me_, Elliot thought but said; "Yeah, what would you like to talk about?"

"Well... I understand that me leaving was a bit improper and I apologize," she said as they stepped into the elevator. "So I'd like if we could return to just being friends again."

_Friends. Sort of a date failed more than expected_, he observed. "Okay."

Hermione looked him. "You okay?"

"Uh! What? Yes... why?" He gave a half-hearted short laugh and scratched his head.

"You just sounded a little down," Hermione said.

"I'm fine!" Elliot said, maybe a little too loudly. "Thanks."

The elevator opened and they walked out together in silence.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Elliot said awkwardly.

"Sure," Hermione agreed and they parted.

_Friends_.

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><p>Lavender waited as the dizziness wore off and she stared up at Parvati's brownstone house. The roses by her door opened up as she passed. Parvati had charmed them to open up if the person by them had good intentions. She knocked twice and smiled when the door opened.<p>

"I've got it."

"Sorry, got what?" Parvati asked, looking confused.

"How to get Ron to fall in love with me! Remember those girls in the shop? They were looking at love potions-" Lavender was cut off by Parvati.

"Won't work," she said.

"Why not?" Lavender demanded.

"One, he'll see you buying it, and two, isn't that cheating?" Parvati reasoned.

"... It's not exactly cheating, just giving him a little nudge towards realizing his true feelings for me," Lavender said slowly and paused. "I still need to figure out the details, can I come in?"

Parvati nodded, opening the door. "Sure, we can go in my room."

"What's wrong with the ta- who's that?" Lavender interrupted herself, staring at the brown-haired stranger sitting at Parvati's table.

He looked up, smiling when he saw Lavender. "Reid. Thomas Reid. Wait... you wouldn't get that, never mind." He had a strong Irish accent.

Lavender nodded slowly, still staring. "Uh, hi. Parvati, we need to talk in your room, remember."

"You're the one who stopped," Parvati said, already walking.

Lavender followed her quickly and sat on her bed, sitting straight. "Explain."

Parvati sighed, sitting on a chair in her room. "Thomas Reid. Irish. Been in London for three weeks. Been dating for one week. Muggleborn. Ravenclaw."

"Why didn't you tell me about him?" Lavender accused.

"You've been so busy trying to seduce Ron so I didn't bother. Which is why you're here, remember?" Parvati pointed out.

"I would've listened. You could've told me any time and I would've listened," Lavender said, sounding like she was holding back tears.

Parvati seemed to stumble on her words for a few seconds before trying to remind Lavender of their first topic. "Ron, remember?"

"I don't care about him!" Lavender yelled, standing up. "I don't care! You should have told me! I thought we were friends, or am I not good enough for you?"

She didn't give Parvati a chance to reply. She collected her thoughts long enough to disapperate and curled up under her blanket, clutching it in her fist as she cried.


End file.
